No man can attest to never losing something. No one will ever ceaselessly sustain any of their possessions without hard work. It is more than reasonable to simply say that loss is inevitable. And, granted, to some extent, everyone has a sort of presentiment of an approaching loss.
Often, you will try to elude the impending sentence – force yourself to shut your eyes to the screaming truth. Perhaps, it is the short-lived euphoria that you desire. Take what you can, while you can. Consuming and absorbing every aspect of your disappearing resource. Selfish? Maybe. It is subjected to the consequences of your self-centered elation – who or what will hurt because of your rigid grasp on this limited fixation.
It is conceivable to attribute your unawareness to a forthcoming loss to your blithe existence. Your current is the only moment of substance. Do recognize that you only have yourself to reproach for your upcoming, and definite, sting. Leaping into the inexplicable – agonizing later. Ignorant? Possibly. If at any moment, your world is taken away, you have managed to soak in the all the pleasures your life had to offer. But, if and when you find yourself living in close proximity to forever, you will subsist in the consequences of your deficiencies in anticipation.
Maybe logic overrules all insinuations of submerging the truth. You want to execute beforehand, rather than delaying until afterward. Going cold-turkey – even before your supply runs out. Train yourself to expect the worst, in hopes to ease your way into its extinction. Make yourself numb before your heart allows you to ache. Self-depracating? Probably. Denying yourself of what you’re afraid to get attached to. Discarding what you may not lose. Or, possibly, sheltering your heart from an inoperable damage.
I say, jump. I prefer to be selfish or ignorant – or be cursed with both, than to deprive myself of an opportunity to feel. To feel anything. Good or bad; whether it be the joy of ecstasy or the deadening of heartbreak.
I said, jump. Though, not too high - because it is easier said than done. In the depths of despair, passion and emotions dictate your actions, despite restraints from reason. But, moments of clarity do exist. They can surive doubt, just before despair slithers in. It is in those moments, where the depth of my jump will be gauged. While sagacity is on my side – before any strings are tied and all ends are loose.
